A Cornishman in Africa: Paying to be fit.

When I first came to Africa I found the whole driving thing quite similar to that of Cornwall, just a little more erratic.(and a bit more scary) Though the one thing that did spook me a bit was the road blocks, it’s one thing being flagged down at a road block, but being flagged down by a man with a gun is another thing. People just don’t carry guns around in Cornwall, there is no need.
I must tell you there is one road block I go through every day on the way to and from work where there is a policeman who wears a very posh jacket, High visibility and blue, I did not pay much attention to it to start off with then I realised that I recognised it. Next time I went through I took a more careful look. Bold as brass across the back and the front was the motif “Royal Mail”. Very nice and I am sure it keeps the chill out!

Anyway back to the road blocks, I have got totally used to them now and don’t bat an eyelid when I come to them, just be polite and courteous and you usually get straight through without a second glance. This having been said, there are instances where the occasional Plod may be either a little hard up, having a bad day, takes umbrage to your appearance, or just wants to be awkward. Then you get the slow, walk around the car, the testing of the lights, the request to see your metal warning Triangles (and they have to be metal, they can’t be the far superior plastic highly reflective reflecting triangles) I have also been asked to prove that I have a fire extinguisher in the car, as apparently that too is a legal requirement. Then of course there is the Driving Licence. Now the driving licence is a real bone of contention. I used my UK driving licence when I first came out and did so for about a year, but having been stopped at numerous road blocks, I was told on a couple of occasions that this was only valid for 6 months then I had to get a Zambian one. Which apparently seeing as I already have a UK one is just a matter of transferring the information onto the Zambian Licence.

So seeing as I had been here six months this trip I decided to do the decent thing and get one. So I filled out the forms, paid the money and did the first part. Then I was told that I would have to have a full medical. I did not see this as being a problem as I consider myself to be in fairly good shape. Now this medical took the form of a four part test. Hearing, Mental agility, Sight and finally the Physical.

Once we got to the medical centre having rung ahead to make sure the doctor was there, we got right down to the medical and things started to become apparent.
HEARING. This would be the bit where he told me how much he was going to charge me to write out the medical report.
MENTAL AGILITY. This was where I had to decide if I was going down this route and if I could afford it. (As it turned out there was no other route)
SIGHT. Looking deep into the depths of my wallet in the dingy office, to see if I had enough money there.
PHYSICAL. Standing up, money in hand, leaning over the desk to the fine doctor, to hand him the money.
If you manage to pass all four tests to the required standard you are deemed medically fit to drive on the roads of Zambia.
OK, so that is the tricky medical bit done so I went back to the traffic offices only to be told that I would in fact have to sit a driving test and pass a spoken test on the Zambian Highway code. That’s fine I thought it will be interesting to be tested again. The same day I went over to the testing centre. Here I came across a door with the sign Chief Road Traffic Officer. I could not resist it, I knocked and went in.

The gentleman in charge is a very nice, polite, well informed Zambian who told me that I did not in fact have to have a Zambian Driving Licence and was quite legally entitled to drive on my UK licence in Zambia for the duration of my stay. Only if I took up permanent residency might I need one, then I would also have to surrender my UK licence, as you are not allowed to carry two. I thought this all a little odd but thanked him for his time and left his office.
Outside, my examiner had arrived. I thought well, I have come this far I might just as well go the whole hog and finish it off.

We pulled out into the traffic and off down the road, we had not gone 20metres when he said, you have passed Mr Bark, if you can take the next left and park up in the car park on the left under the tree, I have some paperwork to complete then we can return to the office in about half an hour. I really thought he was joking but oh, no this is driving test Zambia style.

So true to his word, when we got back to his office he furnished me with the piece of paper showing that I had officially passed. Then back across town to have my photo taken for the actual licence and that was it. A six week wait and I picked up my full Zambian driving licence.
It does not surprise me now that the standard of driving is what it is in Africa, if this is what it takes to get the licence. (Just pure determination and about 100,000 Kwacha)

Denzil Bark.