A Cornishman in Africa: Hungrier zan zer Heurl

You may remember me mentioning my friend and neighbour Rolf. He is the one with the odd looking dogs that bark a lot and don’t like apples. I have known Rolf for about 3 years, he has been a very good friend to me and my family. Rolf is German and speaks very good English but he does put his own unique and wonderful twist on the language. He has a tremendous sense of humour and is one of the most politically incorrect people I know.
One of his favourite phrases is zan zer Heurl. Someone may be hungrier zan zer heurl, hornier zan zer heurl, tierder zan ze heurl more drunken zan zer heurl the uses of zan zer heurl are almost limitless and I think Rolf found most of them.

Where I live there are eight cottages on a twenty hectare site. These cottages, most thatched are nestled in the trees on the banks of a dam (small manmade lake). Up till recently these dwellings were occupied by four pilots from a local charter company myself and Rolf. There is also a bar there, I say bar, it is a small thatched round building with a kitchen and a bar inside, there are no drinks or no barman. Outside there is a bamboo shaded area with a large wooden picnic style table, and an organic patio heater. This pleasant spot is the general meeting place where those staying in the cottages tend to congregate. We sit around, talk and sometimes have a drink or two. At 19:00 our main man Joseph serves up his culinary delights. Such well known dishes, as bangers and Mash with grated cucumber. Roasted chicken and fish. And Spaghetti bolognaise with extra carrots, and green tomato chutney, and of course cabbage on chips.
Invariably after the meal we relax and chat until 21:00 then trundle off to our appropriate homes and get our heads down for the night.

It was on one of these quiet evenings when we were sitting around chatting, that my curiosity finally got the better of me and I had to find out the answer to a question that had been puzzling me for three years, what is zan zer heurl? is it a German Mythical creature? is it an exclamation of such magnitude that there is no translation into English? Is it a German military officer from history with a vivacious appetite. I had often speculated as to the meaning of this wonderful German phrase.
So I asked. Big mistake. The reply went something like this.
“So, what is it, are you stupid, vhy for not you don’t understand your own language, you know zan zer heurl, you know vere ze devil lives.
Hotter than hell, hungrier than hell hornier than hell, it all fell into place and we all fell about laughing.

We have shared many laughs around that table and I am sure we will share many more, but unfortunately not with the same group of friends who were there that night. Three of the pilots who were there have gone back home, one to Australia, one to South Africa and the other to England.
And probably saddest of all Rolf just disappeared.

The Friday night Rolf, Herman (The last remaining Pilot) and myself were sitting at the bar around the table chatting our usual non sensical twaddle as we sometimes do on a Friday evening. All was normal, if anything in retrospect Rolf may have been a bit quiet but by the end of the evening we were all laughing and hooting and generally taking the piss out of one another.
The next morning I joined Rolf for coffee at the bar at 06.30, again all was normal and I went off to work at about 07.30 and he went into town after giving Joseph a chicken to do something inventive with for supper, saying that he would be back for the meal that evening.
They found his car at the airport on Sunday and we have since found out he was on the morning SAA flight to Johannesburg the day before, on Saturday.

Why, he left so suddenly and did not tell his closest friends, his girlfriend or his employer we will probably never know. It has been the topic of much conversation and speculation around the table at the bar. But what could drive him to just up and go, leaving his weird dogs behind.
All I know is that we miss him zan zer heurl.

Denzil Bark.